Alive in Me — Entry on Suffering

Snippet from my current work, Alive in Me.

This entry comes from a time when I didn’t understand my suffering, or that my own decisions had brought me to the edge. I had cut myself off from God through my idols, and without Him everything was chaos. These were the conversations I had with Him as I learned the truth.

WHY ME?

No matter how much I fail, You won’t let me suffer defeat. I exist, but not of my own desire. The darkness is always broken at dawn, and the silence is always muted by my heartbeat. Your word rests in the pit of my stomach, always reminding me of Your presence. It keeps me from letting go completely. Lord, why do You allow me to suffer?

“Be sober‑minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

(1 Peter 5:8 ESV)